Six o'clock in the morn'

I hate waking up at 6:00 in the morning. There's something about being awake at that time that feels very ungodly... that is, unless I've been awake all night. In that case, there's something very beautiful about surviving to six without any injuries.

I haven't written in quite a while. I realized a few days ago that I only truly feel motivated to get on here when I absolutely love my idea of what to write. People constantly put things off for perfection. But that's the thing: I don't expect my posts to be at close to perfect, so why should I let that stop me?This epiphany has given me the freedom to write.

That being said, I don't actually have much of anything to say. I have been writing and re-writing to-do lists these past few days, and I've crossed off a surprising amount of tasks. Not only that, I'm slowly but surely accomplishing some of my New Year's Resolutions. Let me just say, I'm not deluded into thinking every new year should bring a "new me", and a "new way of life". However, I do allow others treating this natural progression of time as such to serve as a reminder to me that maybe I should check in with some things.

I've been working on several of my goals, and I've added a few as well. I've been feeling a little scatter-brained lately; I want to travel and see the world, and I have been hunting for the perfect summer internship, and I've been watching seasons at a time of Seinfeld, and I've been reading lots and lots of plays and novels, and...well, you know... there's a lot on my mind. I feel very empowered though. One of my classmates (an older gentleman...62 to be exact...and clearly full of wisdom and life experience) told me that when he looks at me, he sees a whole lot of energy, constantly moving forward. I have been thinking about that a lot lately, and making sure that I do in fact continue to move forward in everything I do.

A quick note on freedom and independence. I have possibly broken my promise about never dating again. In fact, I've had a boyfriend for about two months now. I felt for a while that I had broken a promise to myself, but I know now that my promise had nothing to do with what I wanted. All I want is to be happy and remain true to myself, and I have that. Before I started dating my new boyfriend, I was still a slave to my past, and all of my promises, to myself or otherwise, were made with another in mind. I feel more independent and free now than I did before. This doesn't mean I don't spend a lot of my time with my boyfriend, or that I don't consider what he wants in most situations, but I do these things by choice and NOT because I feel an obligation to. And that, my friends, is a beautiful thing.